La’Nae

22 Mar

This is a serious post everyone. After doing much research on the subject of women domestic violence, I came across a girl who was not only beautiful on the inside, but as well as the outside. I told her about my blog, and that I would appreciate it if I could interview her because I could see she had her own blog about domestic violence.

 

I realized after conducting the interview, sometimes no matter how hard you want to leave- you just can’t. You are trapped. No woman should ever feel like that, helpless- anything and unfortunately Le’Nae Jenkins from Massachusetts had this happen to her.

 

Luckily, she was able to turn to religion to help her gain back her confidence and ultimately get her life back! Below are some of the questions that I asked La’Nae, and she was more than welcoming with her answers. I want to thank you La’nae for being so kind to me and help me try to stop this terrible subject that happens everyday.

 

Also, girls – learn that leaving won’t hurt you more—it’ll help.

 

First off – Why do you think it is you longed for love? Why did you need that “male” compassion? Did it make you feel better knowing you had a male in your life

 

I longed for love because growing up I didn’t have a mother or father to show that to me. Many may think it doesn’t affect a child, but in all reality it does. You begin to think that you did something wrong for them to leave you or that you weren’t good enough. Also, a father is an important piece to a child’s life whether male or female. But, for a female when you don’t have a father you want to receive love from men. If you don’t have a dad telling you how pretty you are, etc. you expect a man to give that to you. At the time it did make me feel better knowing i had a male in my life who “cared” for me. But deep inside I felt like I had a hole in my heart, as if something was still missing. Looking back now I realize that I needed God & ONLY Him to fulfill the hole & desires of my heart.

 

Besides turning to god, what have you done to be able to have positive relationships with men since the abuse?

 

It’s tough to answer that question because without God it would be impossible to have positive relationships with the opposite sex. I would still be broken inside, but God transformed my mind & now I’m able to see men as friends as well as brothers. I don’t only see them as “potential mates” now.

Without God I would be bitter towards men or just continue to think if they were friendly with me that they liked me & I would fall in the same trap again.

 

Did you think the abuse was your fault? Why did you still stay with him?

 

There were times where I thought the abuse was my fault because of the manipulation. He would say things such as “Well if you didn’t do this then this wouldn’t have happened.” So I would think I was the cause of it all. I stayed with him because I was afraid to leave. I also stayed because my heart was already open to him. He was the only male who truly “showed me love” even through the abuse.

 

Did you tell anyone you were getting hurt either emotionally or physically?

 

12:41pm

I never told anyone about me getting hurt physically because I didn’t want them forcing me to leave him. I wanted to make that decision on my own. Emotionally, I’m sure everyone could tell I wasn’t happy at some point in the relationship. We wouldn’t be together as much and he was well known so I’m sure everyone knew what he was doing behind my back. It was hard trying to put on a mask as if I was happy when everyone knew what was going on.

 

How long did the abuse last for before you had enough?

 

The abuse lasted for a year and a few months.

 

 How long of a process was it to be able to trust someone and open up to them again, while making yourself vulnerable?

 

The process took years for me to be able to open up to anyone and trust again. God was trying to heal me but I always ran away from the process. It was even hard opening up to God about things even thou He knew my hurts and pains. It wasn’t until the beginning of this year that Jesus finally set me free from the hurt. Now I’m able to open up and be transparent showing everyone what God did for me. I’m able to show everyone that God is able to do amazing things.

 

 

if you had the chance to see him for 10 minutes, what would you say or do, if he were restrained

 

Would you take revenge on him and kick his ass, or take the high ground and not speak to him, or just say like “you really hurt me, physically and emotionally. but you can’t hurt me anymore”

 

What would you tell girls who think the only way to be happy is if they are in relationships? What advice will you tell them to love them first before any man?

 

or girls who think that the only way to be happy is through relationships, I would say that they’re wrong. A man cannot make you happy because as humans we all fall short. He will always disappoint us & it’s selfish to expect high expectations or perfection from a human being when we’re not perfect ourselves. I’m speaking from experience when I say that the ONLY relationship you can be happy in is a relationship with Jesus Christ. I never saw how it was possible when people told me that because I can’t see Him. But I know from experience & how He changed my life that I can only be fulfilled through a relationship with Him. It’s definitely important for a woman to make sure she sees worth in herself before she dates a man. If you don’t see your own worth & value, how can you expect anyone (not only a man) to see that in you? The Bible says women are worth MORE than rubies!!!! You’re a RUBY in God’s eyes! How much more do you deserve a man who loves God & treats you like a ruby! Also, a woman can definitely be happy without a man. If you’re not happy without one then you’ll never be happy even with him because like I said you’ll keep expecting perfection from him. Only God can truly satisfy the desires of your heart. I promise you that. I know from experience. Don’t cling to human beings who will fail you, but cling to the God who is EVERLASTING & who will NEVER fail you. He is faithful, I promise you that.

 

lso, before dating you must be happy with who you are in Christ. Find your value in HIM. Couples should come together when they’re already happy as a single. They shouldn’t come together to find happiness in each other,

 

ALSO – Can a girl be happy without a man? What are your views on this?

 

 

Did you become religious after the fact, or has god played a role in your life always?

if the former, how has your faith helped you heal

 

Well I always believed in God. It wasn’t until near the end of the relationship that I heard about salvation through Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ died to save me from my sins and saved me from hell so that I can have eternal life in Him & full restoration. I’ve come to know & understand that being a Christian doesn’t involve religion but a true, pure, heartfelt relationship with God. My faith in God has definitely helped me heal because He’s the only one who could truly understand my pain. It didn’t matter how many counselors I saw, they were human like me & they couldn’t really get into the depth of my heart where e pain needed to be taken from. God was only able to touch my heart & uproot pains & hurts that I tried to suppress. He helped me step by step through prayer & really seeking after Him

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